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jovianstorm"Hang on, N," I hear you cry, "The Eurovision was cancelled!"
Well, guess what! Even if there's no official contest this year, I can still listen to and judge the fuck out of all the songs!! PLUS!!! Now that there will be no voting, I get to give points to countries, send my Semi-Final selections through to the Final, and then select a winner myself! WOW!!
So! Without further ado - N's Personal Eurovision Un-Cancellation!! TAKE IT AWAY EUROPE!!!!
Semi-final 1 (12.05.20.)
1: Montaigne - Don't Break Me (Australia)
Oh! She's blue! (Da-ba-dee da-ba-dye!) ... Song's kinda boring though. Straya's weakest effort so far :( And usually they're so good too!
2: VAL - Da vidna (Belarus)
Belarusian! Bonus language points. It has got my foot tapping a bit, but... chorus is kinda weak. I like her headdress though.
3: Lesley Roy - Story of My Life (Ireland)
Ooh, it's got a good beat! AND HALLELUJAH! THE FIRST DECENT CHORUS OF THE NIGHT! Our lovely neighbours come THROUGH!! I was rooting for you Ireland and you DELIVERED, thank you!!
4: The Roop - On Fire (Lithuania)
Ooh, magnifying glasses! Nice cheesy start. "Just to be a better MAYYYYUN" haha I love that. ?! This... this is certainly an interesting one xD?? I think it'll need repeated listens before I know what to think of the song. That little dance at the beginning of the 'chorus', though xD
5: Vasil - You (North Macedonia)
Ooh, nice accordion. OKAY!! OKAY GOOD! I LIKE THIS CHORUS! Oooooh. This one is decent. Oh yeah. Oh I do like that chorus. Oh yeeeaaahhhhh.
6: Little Big - Uno (Russia)
I've heard a lot of hype about this one! Ooh the lady's high pitched voice took me by surprise. Ahahahaha I like that little leggy dance. I like that they're gone for something different and memorable. Haha nice
7: Ana Soklič - Voda (Slovenia)
Oh! Oh, that's a pretty beginning. Language bonus! Nice voice. Oh this is rather pleasant. OH! THAT CHORUS! YES!!!!!! YES SLOVENIA YES!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES!!!!!! SLOVENIA DELIVERS!! Y'know what, this might even be the best so far. If you hadn't guessed by all my exclamation marks.
8: The Mamas - Move (Sweden)
Oooooooooooh. Ooooooooooooooooooooh. Chorus isn't the strongest, but I really enjoy the overall sound? Their voices harmonise like mmmmmmm mmm mmmmmmmmmm
9: Efendi - Cleopatra (Azerbaijan)
Strong beginning! Oh? OH! OWOWOWOWOWOWO!! YEEEEEESSSSSSS AZERBAIJAN DELIVERS!!!! God, that chorus. Hell yeah!!
10: Hooverphonic - Release Me (Belgium)
I swear I downloaded some of their music like millions of years ago. IDK if I ever actually listened to it though... BUT ANYWAY! This clearly sounds like it was made to be more than just Eurovision cheese LMAO. Like the kind of Bond-y sound to it. Pretty!
11: Damir Kedžo - Divlji vjetre (Croatia)
Language bonus! ... Sounded kind of epic until the mediocre chorus ruined it. Shame. Ohhhhh nice key change, though!
12: Sandro - Running (Cyprus)
Ooh, strong beginning. ... Oh why did you have to do that thing where you replace a proper chorus with what's supposed to be a drop but was, in the end, more of a little ~poot~. Why do so many people have to do this nowadays can people please just write decent choruses instead of making shitty attempts at 'drops' and not even going hard. Listen. That drop has to SMACK ME IN THE FUCKING FACE, okay? Only a drop that punches my goddamn lights out is an acceptable replacement for a decent chorus. What is this, eh. What is this. It doesn't smack me, it lightly boops my nose. COME ONNNNNN!!
13: Eden Alene - Feker libi (Israel)
OOH IS THAT A LANGUAGE CROSSOVER GOING ON HERE?? Noooiiiiiiice! Nice 90s-esque dance sound, although the chorus isn't that stro- OH! Suddenly she's singing in Arabic and it sounds great?? Okay, y'know what, this is certainly an interesting one! That bit towards the end is fab!
14: Destiny - All of My Life (Malta)
Strong voice! ... It's pretty good. Chorus is acceptable. Might grow on me. I do rather like her voice.
15: Ulrikke - Attention (Norway)
Nice strings at the beginning. Nice bridge. Hmmmmmm. Not sure what I think of the chorus. The lyrical subject matter is interesting, but the vocal melody is part weak, part interesting. May have to... pay it some further attention ;D AUGH! All that build-up and you don't do a key-change?? C'monnnnn!!
16: Roxen - Alcohol You (Romania)
Interesting title. Nice voice. Chorus seems kind of interesting and then it goes, "They warned me but I think it's only fake news!" LOLwut? Ehhhhhh
17: Go_A - Solovey (Ukraine)
Okay, nice flutey beginning. Language bonus! Ooooh red and black, N Aesthetic. She's, uh... a little shrill IDK. I might get used to it. Mmmmmhhhhh IDK. I want to like it but IDK.
Faves: SLOVENIA, Azerbaijan, Belgium, North Macedonia
So now! The Land of N, the one nation voting this year, has cast their votes. The ten entries going through to the Final are (sorry, no tense envelope opening):
1. Ana Soklič - Voda (Slovenia)
2. Efendi - Cleopatra (Azerbaijan)
3. Hooverphonic - Release Me (Belgium)
4. Vasil - You (North Macedonia)
5. Lesley Roy - Story of My Life (Ireland)
6. Little Big - Uno (Russia)
7. Eden Alene - Feker libi (Israel)
8. The Mamas - Move (Sweden)
9. The Roop - On Fire (Lithuania)
10. Destiny - All of My Life (Malta)
Congratulations to these ten nations! See you in the Final!! \o.o/
Next up, Semi-Final 2 on Thursday night, W00T!!
Well, guess what! Even if there's no official contest this year, I can still listen to and judge the fuck out of all the songs!! PLUS!!! Now that there will be no voting, I get to give points to countries, send my Semi-Final selections through to the Final, and then select a winner myself! WOW!!
So! Without further ado - N's Personal Eurovision Un-Cancellation!! TAKE IT AWAY EUROPE!!!!
Semi-final 1 (12.05.20.)
1: Montaigne - Don't Break Me (Australia)
Oh! She's blue! (Da-ba-dee da-ba-dye!) ... Song's kinda boring though. Straya's weakest effort so far :( And usually they're so good too!
2: VAL - Da vidna (Belarus)
Belarusian! Bonus language points. It has got my foot tapping a bit, but... chorus is kinda weak. I like her headdress though.
3: Lesley Roy - Story of My Life (Ireland)
Ooh, it's got a good beat! AND HALLELUJAH! THE FIRST DECENT CHORUS OF THE NIGHT! Our lovely neighbours come THROUGH!! I was rooting for you Ireland and you DELIVERED, thank you!!
4: The Roop - On Fire (Lithuania)
Ooh, magnifying glasses! Nice cheesy start. "Just to be a better MAYYYYUN" haha I love that. ?! This... this is certainly an interesting one xD?? I think it'll need repeated listens before I know what to think of the song. That little dance at the beginning of the 'chorus', though xD
5: Vasil - You (North Macedonia)
Ooh, nice accordion. OKAY!! OKAY GOOD! I LIKE THIS CHORUS! Oooooh. This one is decent. Oh yeah. Oh I do like that chorus. Oh yeeeaaahhhhh.
6: Little Big - Uno (Russia)
I've heard a lot of hype about this one! Ooh the lady's high pitched voice took me by surprise. Ahahahaha I like that little leggy dance. I like that they're gone for something different and memorable. Haha nice
7: Ana Soklič - Voda (Slovenia)
Oh! Oh, that's a pretty beginning. Language bonus! Nice voice. Oh this is rather pleasant. OH! THAT CHORUS! YES!!!!!! YES SLOVENIA YES!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES!!!!!! SLOVENIA DELIVERS!! Y'know what, this might even be the best so far. If you hadn't guessed by all my exclamation marks.
8: The Mamas - Move (Sweden)
Oooooooooooh. Ooooooooooooooooooooh. Chorus isn't the strongest, but I really enjoy the overall sound? Their voices harmonise like mmmmmmm mmm mmmmmmmmmm
9: Efendi - Cleopatra (Azerbaijan)
Strong beginning! Oh? OH! OWOWOWOWOWOWO!! YEEEEEESSSSSSS AZERBAIJAN DELIVERS!!!! God, that chorus. Hell yeah!!
10: Hooverphonic - Release Me (Belgium)
I swear I downloaded some of their music like millions of years ago. IDK if I ever actually listened to it though... BUT ANYWAY! This clearly sounds like it was made to be more than just Eurovision cheese LMAO. Like the kind of Bond-y sound to it. Pretty!
11: Damir Kedžo - Divlji vjetre (Croatia)
Language bonus! ... Sounded kind of epic until the mediocre chorus ruined it. Shame. Ohhhhh nice key change, though!
12: Sandro - Running (Cyprus)
Ooh, strong beginning. ... Oh why did you have to do that thing where you replace a proper chorus with what's supposed to be a drop but was, in the end, more of a little ~poot~. Why do so many people have to do this nowadays can people please just write decent choruses instead of making shitty attempts at 'drops' and not even going hard. Listen. That drop has to SMACK ME IN THE FUCKING FACE, okay? Only a drop that punches my goddamn lights out is an acceptable replacement for a decent chorus. What is this, eh. What is this. It doesn't smack me, it lightly boops my nose. COME ONNNNNN!!
13: Eden Alene - Feker libi (Israel)
OOH IS THAT A LANGUAGE CROSSOVER GOING ON HERE?? Noooiiiiiiice! Nice 90s-esque dance sound, although the chorus isn't that stro- OH! Suddenly she's singing in Arabic and it sounds great?? Okay, y'know what, this is certainly an interesting one! That bit towards the end is fab!
14: Destiny - All of My Life (Malta)
Strong voice! ... It's pretty good. Chorus is acceptable. Might grow on me. I do rather like her voice.
15: Ulrikke - Attention (Norway)
Nice strings at the beginning. Nice bridge. Hmmmmmm. Not sure what I think of the chorus. The lyrical subject matter is interesting, but the vocal melody is part weak, part interesting. May have to... pay it some further attention ;D AUGH! All that build-up and you don't do a key-change?? C'monnnnn!!
16: Roxen - Alcohol You (Romania)
Interesting title. Nice voice. Chorus seems kind of interesting and then it goes, "They warned me but I think it's only fake news!" LOLwut? Ehhhhhh
17: Go_A - Solovey (Ukraine)
Okay, nice flutey beginning. Language bonus! Ooooh red and black, N Aesthetic. She's, uh... a little shrill IDK. I might get used to it. Mmmmmhhhhh IDK. I want to like it but IDK.
Faves: SLOVENIA, Azerbaijan, Belgium, North Macedonia
So now! The Land of N, the one nation voting this year, has cast their votes. The ten entries going through to the Final are (sorry, no tense envelope opening):
1. Ana Soklič - Voda (Slovenia)
2. Efendi - Cleopatra (Azerbaijan)
3. Hooverphonic - Release Me (Belgium)
4. Vasil - You (North Macedonia)
5. Lesley Roy - Story of My Life (Ireland)
6. Little Big - Uno (Russia)
7. Eden Alene - Feker libi (Israel)
8. The Mamas - Move (Sweden)
9. The Roop - On Fire (Lithuania)
10. Destiny - All of My Life (Malta)
Congratulations to these ten nations! See you in the Final!! \o.o/
Next up, Semi-Final 2 on Thursday night, W00T!!
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